I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
