btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
