I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
