Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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