Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
