Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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