I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
