the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize