weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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