All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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