Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Girls should come with a carfax report
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize