so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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