Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
