Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
