What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
