I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
