What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
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I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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