Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
