my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
A+ Viking dick
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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