No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
