discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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