she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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