do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
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In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
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I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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