If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
