We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
