You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
