I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
