I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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