I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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