I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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