eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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