Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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