ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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