she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
