i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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