you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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