Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
