we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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