She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
