how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you had me at cake vodka
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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