I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You may now shotgun with the bride
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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