Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
