please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
