Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize