my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
