Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I want a musical about memes.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
