beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
