i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
