I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
