Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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