Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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