dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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