blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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