Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
