Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
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He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.