Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Two?

(404): View more from Georgia

Two.

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(404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf

Replies (260) Good night (4259) Bad night (78741)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical

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(314): I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical http://tfl.nu/2sib

Replies (2) Good night (668) Bad night (1448)
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(734): View more from Michigan

i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.

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(734): i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants. http://tfl.nu/trrn

Replies (87) Good night (1719) Bad night (20181)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"

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(314): I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina" http://tfl.nu/4mpo

Replies (14) Good night (3869) Bad night (1045)
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(647): View more from Ontario

on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..

(1-647): View more from Ontario

who won?

(647): View more from Ontario

THAT is your concern right now?

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(647): on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest.. (1-647): who won? (647): THAT is your concern right now? http://tfl.nu/f9cv

Replies (14) Good night (4700) Bad night (715)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.

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(717): Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list. http://tfl.nu/k33x

Replies (28) Good night (4846) Bad night (931)
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(325): View more from Texas

I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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(325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa

Replies (19) Good night (6831) Bad night (1262)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Have you been tested recently?

(1-520): View more from Arizona

Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune

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(520): Have you been tested recently? (1-520): Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune http://tfl.nu/i2uj

Replies (16) Good night (1254) Bad night (7269)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?

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(308): What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts? http://tfl.nu/w182

Replies (21) Good night (8816) Bad night (1017)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.

(615): View more from Tennessee

Like handprints on my lower back...

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(615): Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines. (615): Like handprints on my lower back... http://tfl.nu/9y3r

Replies (3) Good night (1911) Bad night (452)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck

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(720): Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck http://tfl.nu/51rp

Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (1565)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.

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(413): She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list. http://tfl.nu/zy3q

Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (1049)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Does the room smell any better?

(859): View more from Kentucky

Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.

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(606): Does the room smell any better? (859): Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless. http://tfl.nu/3ric

Replies (12) Good night (1006) Bad night (410)
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(713): View more from Texas

It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.

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(713): It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat. http://tfl.nu/xaim

Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (175)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.

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(601): This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw. http://tfl.nu/221m

Replies (4) Good night (737) Bad night (159)

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