I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies