Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?

  (325): View more from Texas

  Because you touch yourself at night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working? (325): Because you touch yourself at night. http://tfl.nu/lm5u
  Replies (14) Good night (3263) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it. http://tfl.nu/48x8
  Replies (37) Good night (3672) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong. http://tfl.nu/rar8
  Replies (20) Good night (3884) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'd suck anything for a pizza right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I'd suck anything for a pizza right now http://tfl.nu/grjz
  Replies (42) Good night (5422) Bad night (1759)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door. http://tfl.nu/z046
  Replies (6) Good night (1964) Bad night (1576)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way. http://tfl.nu/sqy6
  Replies (5) Good night (2294) Bad night (1590)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight http://tfl.nu/pekh
  Replies (14) Good night (1924) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text. http://tfl.nu/e61q
  Replies (8) Good night (3181) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Wow. We're meant to be..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask.. (587): Wow. We're meant to be.. http://tfl.nu/3d3s
  Replies (13) Good night (2709) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Did she say Ok?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA! (1-512): Did she say Ok? http://tfl.nu/jji5
  Replies (8) Good night (2296) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird? http://tfl.nu/9vh0
  Replies (8) Good night (1376) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days http://tfl.nu/dsf3
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night.... http://tfl.nu/0vfo
  Replies (0) Good night (443) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/olb0
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too. http://tfl.nu/qmru
  Replies (4) Good night (791) Bad night (274)

Randomize