White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.