we're blogging at a bar
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
