Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dicks are not precious.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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