He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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