hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I touched a dick in church today
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
