did you get engaged???
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
